I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
