he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
