Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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