okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
