I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This house was built for laser tag.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
