haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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