seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
