I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so let's talk penis.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
