i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
