the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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