she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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