this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
