In America we eat man semen.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
