Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
