If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
