I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
