do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
