I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
