You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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