capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
