i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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