The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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