whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
