I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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