like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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