8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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