who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
