so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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