for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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