I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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