So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
