Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
