On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
