I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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