he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
