his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
