remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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