got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
