Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
