spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
