I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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