so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
