Don't make out with my wife yet
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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