You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
