I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
