Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
