Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think my moral compass just broke
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