ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
