rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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