we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
