Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
