Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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