and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
