I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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