I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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