I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
