Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
