we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize