Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
