One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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