And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize