Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
