another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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