There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
