I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
