I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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